it's beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen so long since i've posted here yet as long as i'm online i'm pretty much browsing lj daily.

i'm not dead. but active at my wordpress instead.

what else should i say? lalalalalalalala =o

com tio virus

blogger and msn cant go

have to post here.

but i know not alot of people is viewing

i mean who cares!

this is another place to say out my feelings



i was reading blogs and i found ah hock's one
in the midst of nowhere

dated 21st may

an entry which i missed 1 week long

i hope i'm not wrong but i think this refers to me

"to my best buddy"

actually i've used to wonder if this word will still be ever used on me ever since some incident

but i can only say.

nothing else matters after seeing this line


ok the rest refers to you, not hock of course.
though i know u will NVR read this fucking entry.

but yes i need time

i need way more time.

the time i needed ur absence, you appear in front of me time and again

time and again

you had to appear infront of me to show me how happy you are in front of others

i hate

i hate your laughter, i hate your giggle, i hate your smile

when they were right in front of me, as if they are mocking at me on YOUR purpose.

i feel so.

i think u were doing it on purpose.

stop that innocent facade and get things right.

by saying dunno wont help things.


your voice is piercing

your existence really stings


why did i even let myself go into such a situation in the 1st place

this 3 months will be a great break from you.


my birthday wish..
i hope that u will nvr. appear in my life again. EVER.

how i wish u will look at this entry and cry or at least feel sad

but i know YOU WONT EVEN feeling a TINGE of sadness

dun even mention.

just from your razor sharp happiness i can feel it

like pressing a pen knife trying to pierce it in my skin

slowly moving it around once u're in it.

you are cruel.


so cruel.





it's time for me to pick up myself to walk
to forget.
maybe to forgive is to forget.

but now i cant forgive u.




on a side note... lol
i think i feel better as i felt more human
but it's quite a dilenma as this feels like a crime.

it's a mini slight crush
think of it as nothing but yea.

i think saying i love you too much, unintentionally or not does make a lil difference in how you think.
oops.


i will stay strong.

blogger server down

 blogging here now

had a really really really great time with drea stan desmond and zs yest night

i sang my hearts out

fyp ends.

emotion starts to flow

some unwillingness to... part with the team and this fy batch


but it's ok.

i'm gonna miss your presence.

i hate to say good bye.

i'm leaving this around so u can see that
i never hated you

if u ever chance upon here though.

yes it's you.
the you whom i chased away.

You know when your birthday is, but how old should you really be getting married? (Just put an x next to the things that apply to you)

[ ] I know how to make a pot of coffee.

[ ] I keep track of dates using a calender.

[ ] I own more than one credit card.

[ ] I know how to change the oil in a car.

[ ] I know how to do my own laundry.

[ ] I vote every election.

[x] I can cook for myself

[ ] I think politics are exciting...

[ ] I balance my checkbook.

[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.

[x] I show up for school/college/work every day early.

[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.

[  I've never gotten a detention.

[x] I have never smoked a cigarette.

[x] I have never gotten completely trashed.

[ ] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.

[x] I like to take walks by myself.

[ x] I've watched talk shows.

[x] I know what credibility means without looking it up.

[ ]I drink coffee at least once a week.

[x] I know how to do the dishes.

[x] I can count to 10 in another language.

[ ] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.

[x] My parents trust me.

[ ] I can mow the lawn.

[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.

[ ] I remember to water the plants.

[x] I study when I have to.

[x] I pay attention at school/college.

[ ] I remember to feed my pets.

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up

[ ] I work out on a regular basis.

[x] I clean up my own mess.

[ ] The people at Starbucks know me by name.

[ ] My favorite kind of food is take out.

[ ] I have gained weight since middle/high school.

[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.

[ ] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.

[ ] I understand political jokes the first time they are said.

[ ] I can type quickly.

[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.

[ ] My only friends are from my place of employment.

[ ] I have been to a Tupperware party.

[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.

[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.

[ ] All my friends are older than I am.

[x] I can say no to staying out all night.

[x] I use the Internet every day.

[ ] My wardrobe hasn't changed in a while.

[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.

 

total: 19

1. You can only say YES or NO.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you / comments and asks!

1. Taken a picture naked? no
2. Painted your room? no
3. Made out with a member of the same sex? no
4. Drove a car? no
5. Danced in front of your mirror? yes
6. Have a crush? yes
7. Been dumped? no
8. Stole money from friend? no
9. Gotten in a car with people you just met? no
10. Been in a fist fight? yes

11. Snuck out of your house? yes
12. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? yes
13. Been arrested? no
14. Made out with a stranger? no
15. Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? yes
16. Left your house with out telling your parents? yes
17. Had a crush on your neighbor? no
18. Ditched school to do something more fun? yes
19. Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? yes

20. Seen someone die? no
21. Been on a plane? no
22. Kissed a picture? yes
23. Slept in until 3PM? yes
24. Love someone or miss someone right now? yes
25. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? yes
26. Made a snow angel? no
27. Played dress up? yes
28. Cheated while playing a game? yes
29. Been lonely? yes

30. Fallen asleep at work/school? yes
31. Been to a club? no
32. Felt an earthquake? yes
33. Touched a snake? no
34. Ran a red light? yes
35. Been suspended from school? no
36. Had detention? no
37. Been in a car accident? no
38. Hated the way you look? yes
39. Witnessed a crime? no

40. Pole danced? no
41. Been lost? yes
42. Been to the opposite side of the country? no
43. Felt like dying? yes
44. Cried yourself to sleep? yes
46. Sang karaoke? yes
47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes
48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? yes
49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? no

50. Kissed in the rain? no
51. Sing in the shower? yes
52. Made love in a park? no
53. Had a dream that you married someone? no
54. Glued your hand to something? yes
55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no
56. Ever gone to school partially naked? no
57. Been a cheerleader? no
58. Sat on a roof top? no
59. Didn't take a shower for a week? no

60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? yes
61. Played chicken? no
62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no
63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? no
64. Broken a bone? no
65. Been easily amused? yes
66. Laugh so hard you cry? yes
67. Mooned/flashed someone? no
68. Cheated on a test? yes
69. Forgotten someone's name? yes

70. Slept naked? no
71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? no
73. Blacked out from drinking? no
74. Played a prank on someone? yes
75. Gone to a late night movie? no
76. Made love to anything not human? no
77. Failed a class? no
78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? no
79. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? no

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? no
81. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? no
82. Thrown strange objects? yes
83. Felt like killing someone? yes
84. Thought about running away? yes
85. Ran away? no
86. Did drugs? no
87. Had detention and not attend it? no
89. Made a parent cry? yes

90. Cried over someone? yes
91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? no
92. Dated someone more than once? no
93. Have a dog? no
94. Own an instrument? no
95. Been in a band? no
96. Drank 25 sodas in a day? no
97. Broken a cd? no
98. Shot a gun? no

Hitomi wo Tojite

朝目覚める度に 君の抜け殻が横にいる
ぬくもりを感じた いつもの背中が冷たい
苦笑いをやめて 重いカーテンを開けよ う
眩しすぎる朝日　僕と 毎日の追いかけっこだ
あの日　見せた泣き顔 涙照らす夕陽　肩のぬく� �り
消し去ろうと願う度に 心が 體が 君を覚えている

Your love forever
瞳をとじて 君を描くよ それだけでいい
たとえ季節が 僕の心を 置き去りにしても

いつかは君のこと なにも感じなくなるの かな
今の痛み抱いて 眠る方がまだ いいかな
あの日　見てた星空　 願いかけて 二人探した光は
瞬く間に消えてくのに 心は 體は 君で輝いてる

I wish forever
瞳をとじて 君を描くよ それしか出来ない
たとえ世界が 僕を残して 過ぎ去ろうとしても

Your love forever
瞳をとじて 君を描くよ それだけでいい
たとえ季節が 僕を残して 色を変えようとも
記憶の中に君を探すよ それだけでいい
なくしたものを 越える強さを 君がくれたから
君がくれたから

asa mezameru tabi ni  kimi no nukegara ga yoko ni iru
nukumori wo kanjita  itsumo no senaka ga tsumetai
nigawarai wo yamete  omoi KA-TEN wo akeyou
mabushisugiru asahi  boku to mainichi no oikakekko da
ano hi  miseta nakigao  namida terasu yuuhi  kata no nukumori
keshisarou to negau tabi ni  kokoro ga  karada ga  kimi wo oboete iru

Your love forever
hitomi wo tojite  kimi wo egaku yo  sore dake de ii
tatoe kisetsu ga  boku no kokoro wo  okizari ni shitemo

itsuka wa kimi no koto  nani mo kanjinaku naru no kana
ima no itami daite  nemuru hou ga mada  ii kana
ano hi  miteta hoshizora  negai kakete  futari sagashita hikari wa
mabataku ma ni kieteku noni  kokoro wa  karada wa  kimi de kagayaiteru

I wish forever
hitomi wo tojite  kimi wo egaku yo  sore shika dekinai
tatoe sekai ga  boku wo nokoshite  sugisarou to shitemo

Always my love
Your love is always in my heart
You're my everything

Your love forever
hitomi wo tojite  kimi wo egaku yo  sore dake de ii
tatoe kisetsu ga  boku wo nokoshite  iro wo kaeyou to mo
kioku no naka ni kimi wo sagasu yo sore dake de ii
nakushita mono wo  koeru tsuyosa wo  kimi ga kureta kara
kimi ga kureta kara

happy these days.

the knot is finally solved and it certainly feels warm
er haha... =]

found my way all back to the love of Mr Children
aka Misuchiru/Michiru

lol

somehow i can feel a part of me sink into the world of music and songs

i wonder.
if all trains of thoughts can be combine to create a piece from the heart.

lol

uh.

imagine...
Alphonse Mucha + 3D + minimalism + cartoonish + Music (eclectic?) + story + textures + vectors = ?



still feel like i got things to say BUT
well nothing comes out.

nvm